We are wired differently!

This being my first post  for 2013,comes with it's own myriad of pressures,illusions and expectations. In the very beginning after the dawn indicated 01/01/2013,I wanted to write what was on top of my thoughts then "new year resolutions" and probably look back at it again at the end of the year God's willing and draw a score board. I would smile wide for the achievable and having gone through life in what seems like a great zig zag line,I know best not to worry and always pat myself at the back with that look of I am definitely going to do better.So why did I not type out to the whole world about my resolutions? Partly because I still believe I am the reserved type,I thought otherwise and preferred to look for a confidant whom I know I can be accountable to. Secondly may be I set the bar too high and I just don't want to be a laughing stock yet again. Still I got to be accountable ,in a way that will keep me on my toes.

The idea of accountability is what has led to this first ever post for 2013,glad I made it in time for January! As I was going through my list of friends and family looking for that one person I can trust for this and at  the same time a person who can command some seniority with me,I realized how differently I relate to my "loved ones". Love and affection add some much required intrinsic value to life,and those who have it are   considered lucky,be it from family member ,colleague at work and community at large.However while wallowing in friendship,ever thought somebody doesn't really show you as much affection as you would expect from them? Or you think they do not appreciate you enough? I know there are instances where you may find yourself loving someone so much than they would care,and never seem to return that same kind of love and that is just life. Or be in a situation where you've always felt you are the giver in that relationship,they would only come to you for what I would like to characterize as "emotional draining" and any other "draining" they often seem to get from you. As much being a people's cushion is bad and I don't  find  it healthy either,there could be a perception that you have probably not got it right from your relationship. What if thou,their way of showing affection is just different and not exactly the way you do it or expect from them?

I am the kind of person who doesn't like the "overlong" kind of hugs,and my pals have told me a couple of times that I give vague hugs ^ _ ^. However just because I don't  give "tight"wholesome kind of  hugs that are long  enough to get the tag of " proper affectionate hug",it doesn't mean I like you less ! Yes I could be very brief with my hugs,but believe you me that does not at all say much about my affection level to you. So people are wired differently with how they show their love and affection. Some people are just great listeners and they give you this feeling that you can always talk to them,download all your problem to them,they will listen and make you feel better about the whole situation at the end of the conversation. While for others once you seem to need that listening touch and you are ready to open up,get close and candid with them,they kind of withdraw,retract to their shells,get a little bit distant as if to discourage you from talking  about it and your conversation won't yield much from what you expected from them. There are others who are just plain uncomfortable with being the touchy kind and you don't feel  like you connect with them much when you want to share "a touchy issue". For others it could be that you expect them to open up and share as much as you do to them,and every time you go on talking to them about this "deep" situation you have,you never get the same kind of response from them and it would probably allude to you that "they do not like me that much to share their own personal experiences".

Despite all these  unappreciative feelings for what you consider best way of showing affections,you still have considered them close! So the question is why? Get to know what makes them tick to you. They do not seem to open up to you like you do to them,well good but may be they know best how to express their affection to you through humor,they crack jokes for you,they tease you and that's how they have been wired and you have always connected greatly with that. They are not expressive with their love to you verbally and you could easily dismiss them as mean,but hold on may be they could write a whole book about the chocolate bar you bought them for their birthday.I am guilty of the latter. So different forms of affection exist among people,learn to figure out what is it a friend,family member does in so subtle ways but yet get you that smile and that's how they love you. Don't always expect it they way you do,we are wired differently. Of course distinguish clearly,the friends who truly love you in their own unique ways and those who do not love you. Love is a compelling powerful emotion,let's love and live life!